I'm Pregnant
by barsonaddict
Summary: A look at some of the moments in pregnancy. Established Barson, basically fluff.
1. Chapter 1

**Trying out a new POV here- this is Liv/Reader**

"Rafael- I'm pregnant." No, you can't just blurt it out.

Deep breath.

"Ok. Rafi, remember how I've been getting hot flashes and mood swings well I thought I'd started menopause and we haven't used condoms in awhile..."

No, too much information.

You are trying to psych yourself up for one of the most important conversations you will ever have. No pressure.

Practicing in the mirror worked when you wanted to get your 'I love you' speech right, you're not sure why it's not doing the trick this time.

"Rafi- this might not be the best timing, but I really think it's going to be a blessing."

"What's going to be a blessing? Who are you talking to?" You were so distracted you didn't even notice him come into the bathroom.

You stand completely frozen, staring in the bathroom mirror, and in your peripheral vision can see your boyfriend leaning casually against the door frame.

"Liv?" he pushes himself off the wall and moves behind you, wrapping his arms around your stiff frame, chin resting on your shoulder and looking at you in the mirror.

You say nothing, but when you make eye contact and see how happy he looks, your eyes fill with tears at the thought that he might not want this, and leave you. All three of you.

"Hey- what is it?" He questions as he straightens and gently turns you to face him.

Your mind is racing with a million things to say- a thousand ways to say it that will soften the blow.

"I'm pregnant."

Or, you could do what you didn't want to, and just blurt it out.

Too scared to look at him, you grasp his suspenders and curl into his chest, hoping that this will turn out alright.

"You-you're- really?"

You can feel his hands that were rubbing up and down your back move to your shoulders and gently push you away from him.

You fight to stay close to his chest, but he says, "Hey, I just wanna look at you."

So you concede, and when he tilts your chin you look in his eyes and feel your heart break at the sight of tears in them.

You lose the tenuous grip you had on your emotions and start to cry, choking out a reply.

"9 weeks."

"Oh my god. I... How? I thought you..." He is clearly not taking this well. It's about what you expected, to be honest.

El Tiburon, the workaholic lawyer, is clearly not looking to get into daddy mode, no matter how much he dotes on your son.

"I'm sorry, I thought I was too- that's why I haven't been as careful the last few months but obviously I should have made sure."

You're not sure what to do, he's just staring at you; actually he's staring at your stomach like he has X-ray vision.

A minute goes by that feels like an hour and he still hasn't said anything so you try to leave, deciding to get into bed and cry yourself to sleep.

You will make decisions about your future tomorrow, tonight you will mourn your relationship.

When you turn to leave the room it seems to break the trance he is in, and Rafael reaches for your arm, saying, "What? Where are you going? Why are you apologizing?"

You're confused.

"Um- because I thought I was menopausal and wasn't, we should have been using birth control." You're so confused by his questions you are just answering on autopilot.

"Exactly. We. This isn't your fault, Liv. There's nothing to be at fault for."

You stop and glare at him. "I'm pregnant, Barba. That's not nothing."

"Of course it's not noth-" he stops suddenly. "Are you not happy about this?"

"Of course I'm happy! I've always wanted a baby, and now I get a second one and it's all I've ever wanted! Noah is going to be such a good big brother!" Your angry tone doesn't match the beautiful words you are saying.

"If you're happy then why are you yelling at me?" he's genuinely confused, and you think this is a fine time for him to get his Ivy League-educated head out of his ass.

You stop trying to get out of his grasp and look at him again.

"Because I wanted to do this with you, you asshole! Your child deserves to have it's father in it's life! You deserve to be yelled at!"

"Liv, calm down. We're not on the same page here," his calming tone is pissing you off even more.

"Clearly," you scoff at him.

"I'm happy."

Wait. "What?"

"I'm happy you're pregnant. I'm completely shocked; I never dared to dream this could happen, and I'm sorry I didn't say it right away, but. Liv. This is amazing." He says this looking right at you, tears in his eyes- happy tears?

"You're happy," you repeat.

"Yes," he readily agrees.

"You want to have this baby with me," you say, just wanting to be completely clear.

"Yes," the smile on his face supports his story.

"You realize this means I get everything I want for the next thirty one weeks, right?" No sense in sugar-coating it. You plan to enjoy this miracle.

"Mi amor- you can have whatever you want, whenever you want it. That is my mission in life, from this moment on," he's still smiling, but looks serious about this.

You both are still staring at each other. You don't know why you aren't in his arms yet. So you take his hand that is still resting on your forearm and use it to pull him to you.

He stumbles into you, surprised, and apologizes, "Oh my god, Liv I'm sorry, are you okay? Did I hurt the baby?"

You laugh, thinking he's joking, but one look at his face makes you realize he's serious- and this is going to be a long seven months.

"Rafi, I'm fine. Baby is perfect. It's going to put up with a lot more than that before it comes out."

You wrap your arms around him, tuck your nose beneath his collar and just breathe in his scent.

"I love you," you murmur, barely loud enough to be heard.

His hands are stroking you again, up and down your back, your sides, and up into your hair.

"I love you too," he replies, just as quietly.

 **A/N-**

Written for a prompt ("I'm pregnant") on tumblr. Originally supposed to be a drabble, lol.

There's a possibility of this turning into a series of related one-shots, but no promises.

Thanks for all the support and feedback! :)


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm thinking this will be a series of events during Liv's pregnancy. No promises on when I'll post the next one- I have some other stories in progress.**

 **Thanks for all the follows, faves and feedback!**

Lieutenant Olivia Benson is late.

She is standing in her bedroom, wearing only her bra and underwear, staring at her midsection in the full length mirror.

She knows she is very, very late- and yet, can't bring herself to put clothes on.

She vaguely registers the sounds from the front of the apartment- Rafael is trying to get Noah dressed in his coat and shoes so they can get to work on time, but the almost two year old is not fond of outerwear this week. Too bad it's November and he doesn't have a choice.

Rafael has called her name three times now, and she hears the TV flip on, and the theme song of one of Noah's shows starts playing seconds before footsteps start coming down the hall.

He starts talking before he enters the room, "Liv, what the hell's going on? You've been back here for almost an hour- I can drop Noah at daycare but you're still going to be really late."

He stops when he sees her standing in front of the closet, practically naked, a pile of discarded clothes next to her on the bed.

"Yeah...I'm gonna miss the weekly briefing," she says in a calm, quiet voice, still looking in the mirror. His annoyance quickly turns into concern.

"So, are you going to finish getting dressed?" he asks cautiously, not wanting to set off one of her mood swings.

She doesn't answer his question, instead reaches for his hand and pulls him closer. "C'mere."

"Liv, as much as I'd love to have sex in the closet, we really don't have time, and Noah's just..." He trails off as she shushes him and places his hand on her lower abdomen.

"Look," she indicates the mirror with her free hand. "I'm showing."

Watching his reflection in the mirror, she can pinpoint the moment that he notices, as his eyes widen and get very bright.

"It's really in there," he whispers, lightly stroking her bump before he moves in front of her and drops to his knees.

He leans forward, taking her hand that still cups her bump, and places a gentle kiss next to it, whispering in Spanish, "Hi baby, it's your daddy. I don't think you have ears yet but I just need to tell you we're so happy you're in there and growing big and strong."

Olivia can't hold back the sudden tears at her boyfriend's words and adds, "And we love you, so much."

She runs her hands through his hair, and he presses another kiss to her bump before standing in front of her.

"I love you, Liv. I don't say it enough, but you're my everything- you and our kids. But for the love of all that is holy, you need to put some clothes on, before Carisi puts out an APB on you."

She smiles at him, and places a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I will. I just..." She trails off, unable to put into words her emotions.

"I know, mi amor," he agrees, equally awestruck at the morning's revelation.

He pulls her into a hug, rubbing up and down her bare back when they hear the sound of little feet running down the hallway toward them.

Noah bursts through the door and stops when he sees his parents embracing.

"Group hug!" He yells, and rushes at them.

Rafael scoops him up to complete the group hug, and after they pull apart Noah says in a stern voice, "Mommy, you need to wear your coat. Daddy said so. It's cold out."

They chuckle at Noah, and then Rafael takes the toddler to finish his show while Liv actually gets dressed.

Ten minutes and almost as many pairs of too-tight pants later, Olivia exits the apartment in a dress with her two boys, vowing to do some online shopping on her lunch break.


	3. Chapter 3

It's been their main conversation topic since they found out she's pregnant- girl or boy?

Noah, in all his two year old stubbornness, will not even consider the fact that it might not be a boy. He wants a brother; he's determined they will share clothes, toys, and even his bed.

Rafael is confident it's going to be a girl. He's done his research (Google search) and the way Liv is carrying the baby, the range of its heart rate, and of course the ever reliable Chinese Lunar Calendar gender predictor; all signs point to a girl.

Liv secretly agrees with her boyfriend, but generally plays devil's advocate and says it'll be a boy.

Today is Olivia's mid-term ultrasound, and if their child is cooperative, at 18 weeks they should be able to settle their bet.

The stakes are high between Liv and Rafael; veto power in choosing their child's name.

Rafael wants something "normal", apparently the scars of sharing a name with a Ninja Turtle in the late '80s are still prominent.

Olivia wants to honour someone special from one of their lives, and she also loves the idea of a Spanish name.

But Rafael isn't convinced- and he wants the name to go well with Noah's.

They haven't worked out all the details yet but have decided the kids will both be Benson-Barba.

In the waiting room, Olivia is focused on her phone- having a discussion via text with one of the detectives.

Rafael is keeping an eye on his email inbox for anything important but is mostly just looking around the room, unable to focus due to his excitement.

He absentmindedly wraps a lock of Liv's hair around his finger, loving the natural waves she has taken to styling. It seems her hair styles change once a year, but he's hoping with the baby coming and the low maintenance of this style, this trend will stick around.

He jumps as the nurse calls her name.

She smiles at him and gives his hand a squeeze, murmuring, "Calm down. We'll have our answer soon enough. "

He just grins back at her and moves quickly to his feet, pulling her with him.

The nurse smiles at his eagerness and Rafael now realizes he is the only male in the waiting room. "First child?" she asks as the couple approach.

"No," Barba answers, "but it's our first pregnancy."

Noah Porter Benson is Rafael's pride and joy. He doesn't think he could love him more, even if they shared DNA. Since he and Liv became official, he has felt more comfortable getting closer to Noah and found that his bond with the little boy was something that filled in life in one of the best ways.

The nurse looks a little confused but doesn't comment and starts down the hallway, showing them to an exam room.

"The doctor will be here soon, let's get your vitals done and everything set up so we're ready to go once she arrives."

Olivia nods her agreement and hands Rafael her coat and purse. He accepts them with a roll of his eyes.

Once the routine information is taken care of, the nurse leaves them to get settled while she brings in the ultrasound machine.

"Last chance to cancel our bet, Liv", Rafael offers with a smile. "After I'm proven right, you can't take away my prize."

"Mmm, I'm going to have to decline your offer, Counselor. I'm going to enjoy vetoing every name that has been in the top ten for the last five years. I don't want our son having the same name as three other kids in his class."

"On the contrary, querido, when we take our daughter to the store, she will be able to find a personalized keychain or hairbrush, just like her big brother."

The doctor and nurse arriving with the ultrasound machine puts a halt to their discussion.

Greetings are exchanged and the doctor asks Olivia a few questions and makes notes in the chart.

Rafael zones out for a moment, distracted by a poster detailing stages of labour, until Olivia drops his hand to adjust her shirt for the scan.

After she gets settled, he moves closer and grabs her hand again, giving her a quick kiss and saying quietly, "I love you; and girl or boy- I will love this baby with everything in me. I just need you to know that."

Blinking back tears, Liv whispers back, "Me too." And gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

When they bring their attention back to the doctor, she's focused on the image on the screen, and spends the next several minutes taking measurements.

Olivia and Rafael are mesmerized by the sight of their baby, and while they can't quite figure out everything they see, the head and arms are easily spotted.

"All right Mom and Dad, everything looks good." The doctor takes the time to point out the head, arms, legs, and feet (Rafael coos out loud at the sight of tiny baby toes), and confirms that they want to know the gender.

"Yes!" They respond immediately in unison and then laugh.

"It's kind of been an escalating bet," Liv explains with a shrug.

"I completely understand," says the doctor. "Looks like we have a cooperative one here. Say hello to Baby Boy Benson-Barba. That's quite a mouthful!"

They are both staring at the monitor in shock. Despite what side she took on the bet, Olivia was convinced by Barba's arguments and thought it was a girl as well.

"A boy? Are you sure?" Rafael is the first to recover.

The doctor laughs, "Most definitely. See this? That's his penis."

They both look at the screen closely and then each other, wide smiles stretching across their faces.

"Noah is going to be so happy," Olivia says once she finds her voice.

The doctor gives them a summary of the developments and then prints out a few copies of the sonogram.

As they walk hand in hand out of the doctor's office and out onto the streets of Manhattan, Rafael asks, "Do you have anything pressing to deal with?"

"No, nothing that can't wait a while, what's up?"

"I don't either. Here," he says, and pulls her into a coffee shop.

Once they are settled on the same side of a booth with drinks and a snack (your son wants a cookie, Barba) Olivia turns to Rafael looking for an explanation as to why they are there.

"I just don't want to go back to work just yet, I want to spend a few minutes letting the news sink in."

He places his hand on her bump, and continues, "We're having another boy."

"I can't wait to tell Noah! And we can reuse a lot of his stuff too. I gave away most of his infant clothes and toys but I haven't had a chance to go through the stuff from about a year on- it's all still in his closet. Guess procrastination paid off," Liv says with a small smile, placing her hand on top of his where it still rests on her bump.

"Are you disappointed?" she asks quietly.

"No, Liv. Never. I know I made a big deal of saying it would be a girl, but I'm so happy. The doctor said he's right on track for growth, he has all his limbs, and he's just... perfect," Barba replies, pulling out the sonogram to gaze at the image of his youngest son again.

Olivia strokes the edge of the photo absently.

"How do you want to break the news to everyone?"

"Hmm. I don't know. Maybe we just tell Noah and let him be in charge of the announcement."

"That's actually a really good idea, Raf. That Harvard education is starting to pay off," she teased him with a smile and a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Ha. Ha. You're hilarious," he answers dryly, but just rubs her thigh and takes a drink, finishing his coffee.

"You ready to head back?" Rafael asks, playing with her hair again.

"Mmm-hmm. I gotta go to the ladies' quickly, while I do that could you grab me a couple cookies to go? Looks like your son is going to be a Cookie Monster," she adds with a smile.

Rafael just smiles back and gathers their refuse, heading back to the lineup at the counter.

As he watches the love of his life make her way through the crowd he is tempted to pinch himself- years before he'd given up on hoping for this life, one with a growing family of his own.

He orders her cookies (plus some extra for the squad) and moves to stand out of the way while he waits for Olivia.

He places a quick call to his mother's voicemail, letting her know the baby is growing well and everyone is healthy. He purposely does not mention the gender, knowing she'll call after work anyway, and Noah will have his first chance to spread the news that he's officially getting a 'baby brudder'.


	4. Chapter 4

"Lieutenant Benson? Do you need a minute?" The concerned voice of the judge goes unheard by the seasoned police officer currently occupying the witness stand.

"Lieutenant. Liv!"

The sharp voice of her boyfriend finally penetrates the fog she's in and suddenly the courtroom comes back into focus. She apologizes quietly, "I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?"

Rafael Barba might have looked murderous had anyone else zoned out on him in the middle of testifying, but he was just worried. Olivia always took her job very seriously, so something was definitely up.

He had managed to suppress most of his Papa Bear tendencies in regards to the pregnancy so far, but at six months, Olivia was visibly showing even under bulky coats and sweaters, so he had been more concerned with her being in the courtroom and interacting with perps, not wanting her to become an easy target for someone with nothing to lose seeking revenge.

She is looking a little pale and has her hands cupping her bump, so Barba looks to the judge and requests they break for lunch a little early- knowing that would be the only way to get Liv off the stand.

He sighs in relief when the judge agrees, ordering a 90 minute recess, and moves into the witness stand to speak to her, ignoring the whispers and chatter from the courtroom full of people.

"Liv? Can you walk?"

At the sound of his frightened voice, Olivia looks at her boyfriend and gives him a strained smile.

"I'm okay. Nothing's wrong."

But her voice is a little shaky so he doesn't really believe her.

He takes her elbow and helps her to her feet, guiding her out of the witness box and into a chair at the prosecution table. He puts a glass of water in her hand and simply says, "Drink."

She does, still slightly dazed.

He pulls his chair closer and sits down, rummaging through his briefcase for a snack.

She knows what he's doing, placing a hand on his arm to stop him. "It's not my blood sugar. I ate breakfast and had a banana before they called me to the stand. I'm fine."

Barba huffs out a sarcastic laugh, "Liv, at the risk of getting slapped here, you look like shit- you're pale and dazed and won't let go of your belly. Do we need to go to the hospital?"

"No! I wish this had happened another time, though. Figures- it's the first time he's heard your voice in a few days, he must have gotten excited when he heard you."

"Liv? What are you talking about?"

"The baby is kicking," she says, eyes trained on his face to see his reaction.

"What?" he asks, but immediately puts his hands out and stretches his fingers to cover as much of her bump as possible.

"He started kicking right after you started asking questions. At first I didn't really pay attention, I just thought it was the inside flutters but then he did it really hard and I could feel it on my palm. I guess it shocked me more than I realized; I can't believe I did that on the stand!"

Rafael had been spending late nights that week at the office, prepping their latest case to go to trial. As a result, most of his and Olivia's conversations took place over the phone, as Olivia had taken to going to bed well before Rafael was getting home, her pregnancy making her more tired in the evenings.

"He's not doing it now," he comments, voice quiet and disappointed.

"Well, you stopped speaking. Maybe if you talk to him he'll start again."

Rafael looks doubtful, not sure he was the reason for the kicks in the first place, but figures he has nothing to lose and he really really wants to feel his son's first kicks.

"Hey Baby, it's Daddy," he starts, leaning down closer to Liv's abdomen. "I'm sorry I haven't been around much this week- I know how much better I am at singing Noah to sleep than Mommy is," he gives her a wink when she scoffs at him.

"We really need to give you a name, huh? Are you getting tired of us just calling you Baby? Mommy and I are working on it buddy, just wait. You're gonna have the best na-" he stops suddenly and looks up sharply at Olivia when he feels a subtle thump against his hand.

"Was that-?" he asks, tears springing to his eyes.

Overcome with emotion at the feeling and the look on Rafael's face, Olivia can only nod, and places her hand on top of his where she felt the kick from inside.

Rafael gathers himself and clears his throat, hoping to coax his son into giving them some more kicks.

"I see you want us to hurry up and just pick one," he goes on, not really paying attention to what he's saying, just wanting to keep a monologue going to see if he can keep the baby interested.

Olivia lowers her forehead so it rests on Rafael's shoulder, then closes her eyes, focusing all her attention on the feeling- wanting to remember this moment forever.

After about five minutes the kicks seem to have stopped completely and Liv murmurs, "I think you tired him out."

Despite the fact that they are still in the courtroom, Rafael leans in and kisses her on the lips, needing the connection.

He pulls back after a few seconds and says, "Come on, let's head upstairs, Carmen is meeting us at 12 with lunch and some paperwork."

She nods and runs her hand up and down his tie a few times, using it to pull him in for one last kiss.

"Love you," they murmur in unison as they pull back, then laugh.

"Rafael." Olivia says, as they make their way out of the courtroom.

"Yes?"

"No... I mean, for the baby. Rafael," she repeats.

Rafael laughs, "No! I told you, we're not naming him after me. You vetoed Benson and Oliver for the same reasons!"

"I know," she chuckles, "but it's so fun seeing you get all riled up."

He just shakes his head and replies, "Well, we have a couple months but I refuse to bring home a nameless baby."

"We'll figure it out, love. We always do."


	5. Chapter 5

Being pregnant at any age comes with risks.

Olivia Benson had accepted that when the stick turned blue well past her 47th birthday, that she would likely have to face more than most.

At almost thirty two weeks pregnant, her remarkably uneventful pregnancy seems to have hit its first bump.

"You're putting me on bed rest?" she looks at her doctor, shocked.

"Yes. With your advanced maternal age-" Olivia barely holds in a growl at this- "I'm not liking the look of your placenta."

The doctor moves the ultrasound wand a few more times and clicks her tongue. "Not at all. Bed rest until thirty six weeks, then we'll reassess as to whether you'll need a c-section depending on the position of the placenta."

"But... I haven't had any signs of early labour, no bleeding, nothing."

The doctor nods, "Yes, I know. And I want to keep it that way. I would prefer to monitor your entire labour, so if we don't need the c-section, we'll admit you before your due date and start things here. "

Olivia just sits there, unable to think of what to say.

"Is your partner coming today?"

Olivia shakes her head. "Couldn't get away from court."

"You'll need someone to come pick you up."

"Um, alright. I'm sure I can find someone."

The doctor goes on to explain what's she's allowed to do (not much), and luckily gives her a printout of her instructions as she's not retaining any information.

Once she's alone, she gets dressed and makes her way to the waiting room to find an escort home.

She tries Rafael first, on the slight chance that he's in recess. No such luck. She hangs up before the voicemail picks up.

Sighing, she dials her second choice- Fin.

"Hey Babygirl, what's up?"

"Hi Fin. Um, I need a favor."

"Anything."

She smiles at his immediate agreement. "Anything? What if I need help disposing of a body?"

"Then they clearly deserve it. Barba buy the wrong laundry soap again?"

"Hey! I can't help it that Noah has sensitive skin. And who wants to sleep on sheets that smell like 'fresh mountains'? What the hell do fresh mountains smell like anyway?"

She can hear Fin laughing on the other end of the line, he knows how to push all her buttons.

"Anyway, Rafael is alive. He's in court, so he can't come get me and I need a ride home from my doctor's appointment."

"Home? You're not coming back to the precinct?" His voice is immediately full of worry.

"Everything is fine. I'm fine, the baby is fine. I'll explain when you get here, alright?"

Fin huffs in annoyance but agrees and once they hang up she texts him the address.

She sends Rafael a text as well, explaining she'd be at home for the rest of the day and not to bother stopping by the precinct after court.

He had insisted she let him escort her home once she was visibly pregnant. She rolled her eyes at his overprotective tendencies but wouldn't argue with more time spent together, even if it was just their evening commute.

She didn't mention the bed rest, knowing he'd freak out and then she would worry about him being distracted and running in front of a taxi or something.

When Fin pulled up in front of the doctor's office, Olivia was sitting on a bench outside, chatting with a nurse that was doing her best to pretend she was on a break, not instructed to make sure the pregnant Lieutenant didn't leave unattended.

"Liv! Is everything alright? I thought you were allowed to be in the office three days a week?!"

Giving him a stern look but taking his offered hand nonetheless, she replies sarcastically, "Hello Odafin, yes it is a lovely day." He rolls his eyes at her cheek. "I'll explain in the car." Turning to the young nurse, she thanks her for her company and wishes her a good day.

Fin keeps a tight hold on her elbow and helps her into the passenger seat of his patrol car. She slaps his hands away when he attempts to fasten her seat belt. "Fin! I'm fine- stop. Fussing."

"Okay, okay. Geez," he mutters under his breath, closing her door and rounding the car to get back in the driver's seat.

He waits patiently for several blocks where Olivia just stares out the window, seemingly lost in thought.

Finally he can't stand it anymore. "Liv?"

She looks over at him, startled, almost as if she forgot he was there.

"Sorry." She takes a deep breath. "The doctor put me on bed rest for the next month. While I'll spare you the details, it's a preventative measure to keep me from going into early labour." She lets out a big sigh. "Rafael is going to have a heart attack. He's already so stressed, I can't believe I'm making him deal wth this too."

"Hey now, this isn't your fault. Liv, you've been doing everything possible to keep yourself and this baby healthy! You stopped drinking anything with caffeine, you actually sit down and take the time to eat healthy meals, you've been out of the field since you found out about the baby, and you've only worked three days a week for two months now! If Barba blames this on you, Im'ma smack dat boy."

She smiles at his attempt at humor, but it's strained.

"He won't blame me, but he's definitely going to worry. I just feel bad adding to his stress. You know how many hours he works, and now our preferred method of stress relief is off limits for months."

"Olivia Benson! Dammit, girl, I don't wanna think about you two...like that!"

He sounds so grossed out she can't help laughing at him. "Come on, Fin. Where do you think this little one came from?" She pats her belly, still laughing.

He mutters under his breath, not looking at her. "I was kinda hoping immaculate conception. Jesus, you're like my sister."

* * *

She reaches over and pats his arm, "I know. You're more my brother than Simon ever could be."

"Then keep those thoughts to yourself, please, Sis." He shoots her a smile, and they spend the rest of the drive in silence.

"This is new," Rafael comments as he enters the living room that night to find Liv and Noah eating dinner at the coffee table.

"We have a picnic, Daddy! Look!"

"I see, buddy," Rafael gives Noah a quick kiss on the top of his head and moves around the coffee table/picnic spot to kiss Olivia as well.

"Let me get changed and then you can tell me why you went home so early and Fin was avoiding me when I stopped by the station earlier."

Olivia gives him a slightly guilty look, nodding. "There's a plate for you in the microwave."

He's already halfway down the hall to their bedroom, but calls back a thank you.

"Noah, just a couple more bites, alright? Then you can play while Daddy eats his dinner and then he'll give you a bath."

"Wis bubbles?"

"If you ask nicely Daddy always lets you have bubbles."

"Yay!"

"But you have to finish your dinner first, sweetie."

Noah is shoving the rest of his food in his mouth as quickly as possible when Barba returns, plate in hand.

"What's up with the couch eating?" He keeps his voice level but on the inside he's worried. Olivia never lets Noah eat anywhere but in his high chair.

"I... um." She lets out a huff. "Dr Hunter put me on restricted activity. It's just a precaution," she hurries to say at the look of alarm that takes over Barba's face. "The placenta is lying low, and if it doesn't move up in the next four weeks then I'll have to have a c-section. If I go into early labour then there could be problems with bleeding, so there's going to be a lot I'm not allowed to do for the next month." She pauses, giving him a minute to process the news. "Like lift your thirty pound child into his high chair."

He sets his plate down on the coffee table, having suddenly lost his appetite. "But everything's alright? Why didn't you tell me?!" He sounds angry but Olivia knows he's just shocked and worried.

She reaches out and takes his hand in hers. "Everything is fine. I'm fine. The baby is perfect. His heartbeat was just as strong today as every time before. I didn't know this was a concern until my appointment today, baby, or I would have told you. I don't want to stress you out but I'll never lie to you."

He looks into her earnest gaze and nods, "I know. Okay. So what exactly does 'restricted activity' entail?"

Happy that he seems to have moved through the freaking out stage and right into his gathering of information stage so quickly, she smirks. "No lifting more than five pounds, no standing for more than thirty minutes at a time, I have to put my feet up for two hours in the morning and late afternoon, and here's the kicker-" she waits for him to make eye contact before she continues- "no sex."

Rafael's eyes widen in disbelief and then horror. "Did, did this happen- did we do this? Are you on bed rest because I couldn't control myself last week?"

He looks so scandalized she can't help but laugh. "No, baby. You didn't do this. The placenta is inside my uterus. It just happens sometimes. And, like everything else, the risk is higher the older you are." She lets out an annoyed sigh.

"Needless to say, I'm completely off work now. I can probably get clearance from the doctor to testify in the Henry case if you think the jury should hear from me specifically."

"That probably won't be necessary, but we'll deal with that when the time comes. Lucy is still going to take Noah her normal schedule, right?"

"Yeah. Good thing he's out of his crib now, at least with the toddler bed I don't have to lift him."

"Hmm," Rafael hums his agreement and pulls her into a hug. "Te amo," he murmurs, nuzzling her neck.

"Daddy!"

Barba releases his hold on Olivia and turns her body, lifting her legs up to rest on his lap.

"What is it, amigo?"

"Bath time! Mama say I has stinky feet!"

He laughs at the little boy who made him into a father. "Well, she's right. I can smell them from over here. Yuck!"

Noah giggles at his father's antics. "Barba, you silly!"

The adults exchange an amused look. "Barba? That's Daddy to you, mister!"

Rafael reaches over and pulls Noah up on the couch with them, tickling him and savoring the perfect baby giggles of their precious boy.

Settling down, Rafael lifts Noah and holds him over to Liv saying, "Give Mama a kiss, shes going to relax while we go wash those rotten toes!"

Noah gives her a sloppy kiss and then wiggles down, racing off toward his room.

"Can I get you anything? Drink? Remote? Your phone?" he asks as he slides out from under her and kneels next to the couch.

"Hmm, bed rest might not be so bad after all," she smirks, pulling him to her for a kiss.

He moans as he pulls away. "Noah... bath... hold that thought."

"Mmmm...will do, Counselor. Come back out here for story time please."

He heads to the bathroom after Noah yells out, "I got da bubbles Daddy!"

"Good luck with that!" She chuckles to herself, grabbing the remote and navigating to Netflix and settling on her guilty pleasure, Law & Order.

The storylines were sensational and they didn't show near enough of the characters' personal lives, but the lawyer guy was hot, and she needed something to pass the time.

She had a feeling this was going to be the case for the foreseeable future. But hey- maybe they'd be able to decide on a name for their son.


	6. Baby Names

_This was inspired by a prompt from fearlessbenson:_ Please bring it here, you know how long it takes me to get up

 _There will be at least two more chapters of this story, but I have no idea when they will get written. I can only write when inspiration hits, and lately it hasn't been for this storyline. Thanks for all your reviews they really mean so much!_

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Olivia Benson is resting in bed when she hears the key in the lock, the door open and close, and the sound of tiny feet running down the hall toward her.

She opens her eyes just as Noah enters the master bedroom and flings himself against the side of the bed. He's not quite tall enough to climb up by himself.

"Mama!" The look of joy on her son's face just from seeing her is enough to bring her to tears. Pretty much everything brings her to tears these days, though.

"Hi, baby. Did you have a fun day? I missed you," she says, smiling and reaching a hand out toward him, but otherwise stays still, curled up on her side under the covers.

Noah ignores her question, demanding instead, "Up! Want up, mama!"

"Sorry, Noah. Mama can't lift you, remember? Wait for Daddy, he'll help you."

Just as Noah turns to run back down the hall, the man in question enters the room.

"Daddy want up wif Mama PLEASE!"

Chuckling at his son, Rafael scoops him up and places Noah on the bed next to Olivia with a reminder to be gentle.

Noah nods and immediately pulls back the blanket and places his hands on his mother's distended belly. "Baby," he tells her seriously, as if she didn't realize what was in there.

Barba leans over and tucks a lock of hair behind Liv's ear, giving her a smile and saying hello. He drops a quick kiss on her lips before straightening and going into their closet to change out of his three piece suit.

"What do you want to name the baby, Noah?" She already knows what he's going to say, but asks anyway.

The two year old looks serious for a moment, concentrating. "Noah!" He declares with a smile.

Liv smiles back, reaching out to tickle him. "We can't name the baby Noah, silly- that's YOUR name. We can't have two Noahs! I'm confused enough as it is."

Olivia is nearing the end of her fourth week being on 'restricted activity', and has found that the mandated rest times are wonderful. She's still able to do most things (lifting Noah is the one thing that seems to come up daily that she can't do) and has been consulting via text on most of the current SVU cases, so she's not really bored.

She also managed to find a name for the baby that she and Rafael agree on: Finn Diaz Benson-Barba.

Liv wanted to honour someone from their lives- she can't think of anyone more deserving than her longtime friend and colleague. Odafin is too obscure for Rafael's popularity requirement, but with the new Star Wars movies featuring Finn as a hero, she convinced her nerd-at-heart boyfriend that it's a solid choice.

His beloved Abuelita's last name Liv has fallen in love with it as a middle name, to honour Rafael's Cuban roots.

She also loves the symmetry with Noah's names: four letters in the first name (Noah/Finn), and a traditionally last name for their middle names (Porter/Diaz).

As she tries to have a discussion with her toddler about his day, she catches a glimpse of a shirtless Rafael as he goes from the closet to his dresser in search of casual wear.

She stops mid-sentence, suddenly completely distracted. Her hormones didn't get the message that she's on pelvic rest and therefore not allowed to have an orgasm.

It's been a long time since they've been intimate, with no end in sight. This is the part of the doctor's orders that have been the hardest to follow. She'd always been attracted to Rafael, and once they got together they made love regularly.

Noah, tired of being ignored by his mother, starts whining to get her attention.

Rafael notices Noah's agitation and looks over to see Olivia's glazed over gaze staring at him. Staring at his exposed chest, to be specific. He smirks, then carefully keeping himself directly in her line of sight, steps closer to the bed.

"Liv? If you can stop ogling me for five minutes we can go have dinner. Noah got to choose so we're having pizza."

His smug voice breaks through the haze of lust and she shakes her head, blushing. "I don't know why I put up with you, you cocky b-"

"Language!" Rafael interrupts before their sponge of a two year old learns a new word.

Olivia gives him a dirty look then addresses her son. "Daddy is forgetting that it's not nice to antagonize Mommy when she's almost nine months pregnant with his baby, Noah."

Rafael slips on a t-shirt, then reaches for her hand and squeezes it. "Sorry, mi amor. I got your favorite and if it will make you feel better you can have my breadsticks."

She snorts derisively but gives him a small smile. Her hormones are rampant and her moods are fickle.

"Alright, let's go." Rafael plucks Noah from the bed and places him on the floor, then reaches a hand out to help Liv as well.

She pouts and says, "Please bring it here, you know how long it takes me to get up."

He sits down next to her, leaning down and kissing her lip that is still sticking out. "You want me to feed Noah at the table then come eat with you?"

She shakes her head, running her hand up and down his arm. "I want to have a picnic with all my boys."

He smiles. "You are so outnumbered, love. Okay, you find a movie and I'll get the pizza, the boy, and the entire roll of paper towels," he says, placing one last kiss on her now smiling lips and then heading out of the room.

"Thank you, baby," she calls after him, starting to shift into a sitting position. It takes longer than she likes, but at least she doesn't have to get up. She's going to eat pizza, snuggle with her boys, and try not to cry at whatever animated movie Noah wants to watch. She can't think of a better way to spend an evening.


	7. Chapter 7- Always

*Hey, I'm with you, okay? Always*. Prompt from svu-stories-personal (Tumblr)

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She wasn't supposed to be feeling like this.

They had a plan. A detailed birth plan developed with a team of specialists that knew exactly what they were doing, and had years of experience. It was supposed to give her confidence so she wouldn't worry.

But here she is, the night before she's supposed to go to the hospital and give birth to her son. And she is terrified.

At midnight when Rafael comes to bed, he's expecting Liv to be sound asleep. After all, she went to bed shortly after Noah did. Instead, she's sitting up and typing furiously on her laptop. Searching message boards and Mommy blogs for reassurance.

"Uh, Liv?" he asks tentatively. "What's going on, my love?"

She shakes her head and bites her lip, pushing her glasses back up her nose. She doesn't dare speak, she's barely holding in the tears as it is.

Rafael takes a closer look, noting her glassy eyes, pinched face and slightly shaking hands. He sits down next to her on the bed, and looks at the screen. "How to reduce the risk of maternal mortality in high risk cases? Liv, honey. We did all this research. Weeks ago. With highly trained specialists. How long have you been doing this?"

He gently closes her laptop, setting it on the bedside table. When he turns back to her, she's crying unable to hold back the tears any longer. "I'm so scared, Raf," she sobs as he wraps his arms around her.

He holds her close, rubbing her back and murmuring reassuring words into her hair until she stops crying. Tears are sliding down his face as well, albeit silently.

"I'm scared too, Liv. I'm not going to lie about that. But you know what? I'm also scared every time you grab your badge and go to work. I'm scared every time I drop Noah at daycare. There are so many things that could go wrong every day but we put safeguards into place, and trust that things will work out. Your doctors are the best at what they do. I'm trusting them with two thirds of my world: I'd go crazy if I didn't believe they are going to be a hundred percent successful."

She nods into his shoulder and sighs. "I was asleep, but then I had a dream that everything started to go wrong...at the hospital... and they made you leave. That was the worst part. I was laying there, people screaming around me, and I was all alone."

Rafael tightens his arms around her, trying to reassure her subconscious that he's not going anywhere. "Hey, I'm with you, okay? Always. There's nothing that could keep me away from you tomorrow, Liv. Absolutely nothing. I promise."

"Okay. I love you," she says so quietly he has to strain to hear.

"I love you too, mi amor. And I love our sons, and we *will* have a long and deliriously happy life together."

As if to punctuate his father's words, Finn starts kicking and moving around. "Looks like someone agrees with his daddy," Barba smirks.

Liv drops a hand down to rub her belly. "Well, his daddy is right so I'll let it slide this time. But someone better remember who carried him inside her for nine months."

Rafael smiles and pulls back so he can see her face. He pushes some stray hair behind her ear then presses a kiss to her lips. "I definitely won't be forgetting that anytime soon. You're amazing, Olivia Benson."


End file.
